So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
