i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
