im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
