And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
