smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
