are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
