I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
