it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
