Me. At least after what I've been through.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
