I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just high enough for therapy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
