if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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