I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
