He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
