Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
