Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
