I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
