I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
