I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
