that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
