Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
