Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Who died my cat blue again?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
