"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize