Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
