I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
