my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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