i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
