either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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