Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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