I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
