dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Randomize
