Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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