I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize