Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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