Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
