fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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