is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize