just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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