Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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