my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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