If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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