I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize