For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
