look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize