I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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