I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
