Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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