Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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