Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
