porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
