just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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