Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
