Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
