U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
