I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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