I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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