That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
