i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
