Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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